What Are Americans For?

 It’s back-to-school season, and I’ve seen two school issues that got me thinking.


First, there was a spat of discourse on X, The Everything App, about whether it’s a reasonable policy to force kids to lock up their smartphones during the school day. Personally, I think if you’re against this policy you are beyond cooked. First off, kids would NEVER independently use their phones at school to help them learn. I didn’t get my first smartphone until college, and if I had one in high school I 100% would’ve been looking at memes on that shit all day instead of paying attention in class, and probably more important, instead of talking to my peers and teachers. I understand concerns about safety and communication, but whether you’re able to text your mom that you’re safe during a school shooting isn’t going to change whether you live or die. There’s almost nothing that can happen during a school day that’s so urgent that a child can’t wait until they get home, or just call using the school’s landline. 


Smartphones are probably not inherently bad for us, after all they’re just computers that run whatever program is loaded on it, but the way smartphones currently exist is absolutely unquestionably harmful for even mature adults, let alone developing minds. Hopefully I don’t need to elaborate on why. I approve of locking up kids’ phones at school.


The second school issue is an article I read in the most recent Harper’s about Arizona’s “Empowerment Scholarship Account” (ESA) program. As of writing I haven’t finished the piece but the first two pages got me itching to write. Basically, if you un-enroll your child from the Arizona Public School System, you get a debit card with around seven grand on it to use for your child’s education, ostensibly to buy school supplies and whatnot for homeschooling. 


So we’re taking money out of public schools and giving them to people who want to homeschool. There are ninety thousand children enrolled, with the program costing state taxpayers over $1 Billion. What are these homeschoolers using their ESA funds on? According to Arizona 12 news:


  • Two 1-carat diamond rings and several necklaces.

  • Kenmore washers, dryers, and a range.

  • Gift cards to Kohl's and Happy Moments, which can be used at restaurants and clothing.

  • Apple iPods and watches along with warranties.

  • Hotel and resort stays, including Knott's Berry Farm, Great Wolf Lodge and Hilton properties.

  • Broadway tickets at ASU Gammage, including one for nearly $1,300.

  • Airline tickets.

  • Luxury clothing like Psycho Bunny.

  • Dog food.

  • High-end office furniture like a $1,750 Herman Miller Embody Ergonomic Office Chair.

  • Dozens of Lego sets, including 15 for more than $1,000 each.

  • Above-ground pools.

  • Personal fitness training.

  • More than 300 purchases at The San Diego Zoo and SeaWorld.

  • Traeger grills.

  • Electric bikes and mopeds.

  • Massive inflatable water slides.

  • Horse saddles.

Additionally, the Harper’s article focuses on startup homeschools that will take the ESA funds as payment for providing a fundamentalist Christian education in backyard shacks.


Why the fuck would the government pay Americans money to take their kids out of school? What kind of future are we imagining for our children if we don’t even believe in a universal public school? A generation of children raised with whatever fringe ideology their parents had will only fracture this nation more. 


The leaders of this country apparently aren’t interested in an educated, capable populace. Perhaps with computers doing most of the thinking for us now, the only thing American citizens are good for is running around spending money and delivering food to one another. It reminds of Kurt Vonnegut’s book Player Piano, where all manufacturing is automated and all Americans’ needs are entirely met, leaving everyone who isn’t an engineer out of a job. What is this teeming mass of people to do? We can’t all be coders, and apparently the idea of people being provided for and allowed to live for their own sake is intolerable to the general public. I’d be fine with working in food service if it was a well paying job with reasonable hours, but it isn’t and never will be as long as classical American ideology holds. We’re asked to endure either pointlessness or wage slavery, and they don’t want to teach us anything else.

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