Fishes in Ponds

I was once one of the best in the world at something. Toribash is a free-to-play ragdoll physics fighting game that I played just about every day for 5 years starting in 2009, when I was 14. I am currently one of 67 players who have been honored as a “legend” of the game, with a golden forum username to match. If you narrow it down to my field, I’m one of 23. Unfortunately, very few people have even heard of Toribash, so I quickly learned that telling people of my accomplishments led to a very short conversation. Would it have been better if I had dedicated myself to a more well-known endeavor? Would I have been capable of being a “legend” in anything else?


I was an above-average fish in a smallish pond. I’ve recently been reading Benjamin Labatut’s novels, which largely focus on the scientists who made the breakthrough discoveries of the early 20th century. These are the people who first laid out things like quantum mechanics, computer architecture, and artificial intelligence. Isaac Newton famously said that he was only able to make his contributions because he was standing on the shoulders of giants, but he did in fact see further than anyone else at one point. It does take a great intellect and willpower, a special kind of person, to make that first step into uncharted territory even if your predecessors showed you where to find it. These people are rightly celebrated, because they excel in a field where there are a LOT of people attempting to excel there. 


I’ve practiced Chess and Melee a great deal, probably just as much as I played Toribash. I’m not even close to a legend in either of those. I’ve studied mathematics and know I was not making any new discoveries there. If I have any achievement that is unique to me, it’s in Toribash. My mark on history will be minimal, like it is for most people. We are encouraged to pursue greatness, but what if you’re incapable?


Not sure how hard this pill is to swallow, but maybe excellence isn’t what we need in the world. I'm not sure the world can handle many more big fish.

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